Pen: So pencil, you think you’re so sharp? You’re just a 100% natural earth-grown hippy. Let’s see you be mighter than a sword down on Wall Street. What do you think about that? HA! So why don’t you take your swap meet box’o'pink plug wearin ass down to the County Library where you and all your buddies can stick your dull heads into the sharpener all day, until you no longer exist. The way these artists adore cross-hatching, I’d say your days are numbered, pencil. Move along.

Pencil: Yeah pen why don’t you put a cork in it? Your messy innards have ruined many an oxford shirt without the obligatory usage of a pocket protector. The only people who enjoy your company are shallow-minded advertising executives who like to doodle with you when I’m not around. If you were at the Power Exchange, I would definately be taking you to town with cattle prods, whips, chips, chains, dips…and you would be begging me to give you a taste of the old sharpener. You wont ever get to feel the sublime pleasure of fornicating with a 700 RPM grindstone whittiling away your cares and consciousness and you wanna know why? I’ll tell you why pen, it’s because YOU WON’T FIT. How do you like that? With your gel, roller, fine, medium and ultra-fine tips, nobody is ever aware of you getting to the point!!!! You’re always rambling on and on and on until whatever you have to say gets very faint, yet you keep moving your lips, even though I can’t see them.